What do you do when there is dissonance in your life? A lack of inner harmony created by acute or ongoing interpersonal conflict, maybe an unresolved disagreement or dispute, a perceived moral injury, or a personal or large-scale trauma or tragedy?

Internal dissonance is not easy to sit with, and I’ve found there’s a fine line between tolerating discomfort for the sake of processing it and straight up suppressing it. A song by Gillian Welch came on the radio recently, and the chorus struck a chord: “Yeah I wanna do right but not right now.”

Are you being mindful of who you’re minding? Now might be the perfect time to do some energy accounting and enter the new year with reclaimed and refreshed energy stores. Are there entanglements or distractions you can leave behind? Anyone whose mental or emotional grip you might release with compassion and forgiveness?

My clients naturally bring to me their concerns about people near and dear to them, and I am often asked whether I can work on someone else's energy field without their awareness. Even though the request might come from a place of love and good intentions, unfortunately the answer is no, I need full consent. One result is that I work with a large number of "skeptical spouses" by referral, which I find especially fun and fulfilling. I also teach (and frequently re-learn!) that one of the most healing and impactful things we can do for someone else is to change our perception of them.

As an experiment for today, why not choose to look at a person or situation through a particular lens? At work, school, the supermarket, the subway ... what if you saw everyone as a child?

In this season of gift-giving, sharing, and generosity, we have an opportunity to practice gracious receiving. Receiving plays just as vital a role in the flow of abundance as giving. Instead of brushing off a compliment, a simple and sincere "Thank you!" fulfills and nourishes the exchange. If someone offers help, notice whether and where you feel resistance. See how it feels to accept the offer at face value without presuming any complicated intentions or consequences.

I have always loved the idea that we have inside ourselves everything that we need to survive and thrive. Like Glinda the Good Witch tells Dorothy at the end of the Wizard of Oz, "You've always had the power, my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself." Yet recently I've taken to heart that one of the most important tools we have is the ability to connect with and support and rely on other people, as Dorothy did.