Time for a spring thaw?
Outside my window the sun is shining and there's a gentle and continuous drip, drip, dripping of snow melting. The ground is slushy and soft, and through the remnants of snow some early spring buds are poking through.
In my work I think a lot about "thawing." Softening, warming up, melting parts of the energy field that feel cold or stuck. Recently I had my own experience with this process. I had been waking up and noticing a hard, uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach. Sometimes it felt hollow, sometimes like a tangled knot, and sometimes like a solid object lodged in my gut. When I first noticed it I thought maybe it was some kind of indigestion. But when I brought my awareness into that spot, I suddenly burst into tears.
I would notice that uncomfortable spot throughout the day. I'd argue with myself: "I'm not feeling sad right now, crying wouldn't make sense." However, if I didn't stop what I was doing and let myself cry, which is not something I often do, I would start to feel physically uncomfortable, achy and tense, then irritable and snappish, with headaches and fatigue. My body kept insisting -- there is something inside that has to move, and I couldn't rationalize the feeling away.
In my training I was taught the expression, "just tears, no story;" this is how the body cleanses and releases stuck energy, no narrative required. During sessions clients are frequently surprised to discover tears streaming from their eyes even when they're not experiencing any emotion. Just the self-cleaning mechanism in action. Other times the flow of tears might seem out of proportion to the emotion, as the body takes advantage to do some deep cleaning.
For some people crying feels natural, but for others it can be unfamiliar, even frightening. I realize now I was trying to set limits on an "appropriate" amount of grief, and yet it's simply not a rational process. I'm always learning and re-learning to appreciate my body's wisdom and in particular the lesson that resistance leads to pain, while flow, as scary as it might feel, brings relief and healing.
Are you holding something inside that is ready to thaw? Below I share a few practices that can help create spaciousness in the emotional body.
Thawing the Cold Spots
Find your way to sitting with a straight spine. Place both hands on your thighs. Drop your tongue from the roof of your mouth. Release your jaw. Relax your brow. Soften your gaze. Take a slow, cleansing inhale and exhale. Rub your palms together to activate their electromagnetic field. Let your intuition guide you to any part of the body or energy field that feels cold or stuck, and use your hands or simply your intention to direct energy and awareness there. Trust that your body will guide you. Breath into that spot for a few moments or minutes, and try to tune in with all of your senses. Notice what you notice, and see what shifts when given your conscious attention. If you're not sure where to direct your energy or intention, the heart center is always a good place to start!
Get Off My Back
This is great for making space for anger. Start with arms bent, elbows out, like you're about to do the Funky Chicken dance. Take one elbow at a time and jab it backwards, like you're trying to dislodge something from the center of your back. It's fun to do while saying "Get (jab) off (jab) my (jab) back (jab)!" Do one elbow at a time and then both together. This exercise is by Anodea Judith, who demonstrates it here.
Throat Chakra Stretch
Energy can get stuck in the narrow chambers of the throat chakra, and gently stretching and opening those channels can create more space for emotions to move. We do this lovely exercise often in group sessions, demonstrated by Prune Harris.
What if There's Too Much "Story"?
While suppressing emotions can lead to unhealthy outcomes, so can the opposite polar response, what might be called "wallowing." According to brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor, there’s a "90-second chemical process that happens" when an emotion is triggered. "Any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.” Here are some useful tips if you're finding yourself stuck in that cycle.
Here are a few additional practices I love and recommend to get energy flowing. And here is a profound practice for transforming feelings of regret.
If there is more to your story, please reach out for a session, I would love to support you in your healing.
