What do we talk about when we talk about healing?

I was giving an energy healing session to a dying man a few years ago, and I suggested some meditative energy balancing exercises for him to do on his own after the session. He joked, "For my longevity, right?" I had to catch my breath for a moment before being able to respond, "Well maybe, but certainly for your sanity!"

That moment clarified for me one of the most salient differences between a medical and a holistic approach to wellness, and what I really mean by "healing."

In holistic approaches, healing isn't necessarily about "curing" a disease or ailment, or even about prolonging life; it's about being able to live with more clarity, authenticity, balance, and ease, no matter the circumstances. We don't get to choose what happens to our physical bodies, and there's no way to prevent all illness and injury, yet we can choose how we experience illness and other challenges. We can be "healed" — whole, integrated, at peace — even when it might not look that way from the outside.

Some of the ways that "healing" shows up in my clients include:

• finding gratitude and mindfulness in daily routines

• learning to tune in to the body and respect its needs

• acting with humility and kindness rather than aggression and defensiveness

• forgiving themselves and others for harmful behaviors

• speaking up for themselves and in support of others

• seeing the bigger picture and making decisions according to their highest values

• connecting to something timeless and beyond themselves

These practices are indicative of the healing process while also being restorative and fortifying; it's a virtuous cycle.

Sometimes healing looks like being able to face the end of life with grace and humor. It also might look nothing like that. The energy balancing techniques I practice often bring relief on multiple levels, and still l have to be open to the possibility that not all of my clients will "get better" in the way that I hope, or that the healing process might just look different from what we are expecting. Some people experience immediate benefits, whereas for others it's more subtle. Miraculous cures and dramatic turn-arounds can happen, and I have witnessed and participated in some, though I have also seen incremental improvements that you might blink and miss, as well as frustrated clients who are desperate for relief that I am unable to provide.

Then again, I am often reminded that sometimes what shifts, clears, and releases in a session has profound effects that only show up days, weeks, or months down the road. Healing is a mysterious, profound, unknowable process filled with frustrating and unexpected twists and turns, trivial everyday annoyances, plus awe and grace. I am grateful to witness and support its unfolding.